I don't care if anyone is going to my blog. But this is the only place I'm going to talk to myself without anyone knowing. Hopefully. Guess a a lot has change since the last I post. The last I post was like 2 years back? I'm in a different team, different circle of friends. I used to depend on one person to let it all out. Guess time has pass. People change. I depend on my self now. Things will be fine if I give a positive attitude. I can't remember when was the last time I have all the problems. Maybe still some girls problem. But I've grown maturely and avoid all the boys problems. Like all the fights and misunderstanding .


My sister has got married. She is currently on honeymoon with my new brother. They are at Bali now. Another addition to the family. Abang nizam is a great guy. Such a nice guy to be around with. Could talk to him about any problem. Last weekend was their wedding. It was the best wedding I've ever been to. People were dancing everywhere. Food were great. Deco was awesome. Things went well. Hopefully they'll bring back some cool surf stuff home for me! Hehehe.

For my soccer shit now. Im waiting for my salary! They still owe us few mth of salary. Hopefully we could get it soon. Once I get it. I'm gonna be out of sembawang soccer academy. I'm sick and tired of their promises. I need the money only. And my parents too. I'm currently living the footballers dream. Travelling around the world. Chayyyy! Tak la. I just return from Italy. Went fpthere for 2 and half mth. Training tour. Had a tournament as well there. When we came back, we instantly became popular. With the media and all. Haha. Those were the days huh. Haha. Now I'm playing under Coach Fandi! Superb coach! Playing for H2O dream team. Kinda good team. Planning to follow this rp team for this year and I'm off to find for a club next year. No need to rush. Soccer is just a hobby. I just need to brsyukur that Im lucky and has a lot of chance to go everywhere. . Now I'm just going Malaysia for games and back. Malaysian team are fucking strong! Not funny. Be we could compete :) hopefully it won't be long since I next post. :)

A long day indeed. Looking at a loonnngggg week :\ damn. Still haven have had enough rest. Fuck, beep test next sat. Dammit. So not ready for it. I'm so gonna hit 12.5 again! Hopefully. Like talking to myself here. Feels really peaceful. Hmmm. It's the end of a weekend. Guessed I spent it to the fullest. I woke up at 8am on a Sunday. Not slot of ppl can say tat u know.. My life is basically, soccer,school,work,friends? Not bad. No wander I'm so occupied. I'm still stressed out if I should go KL with fathul on the mid of next mth. I really wanna go. But money and school wise. Berat ah nak Cabot!!! :\ gotta ask dad for opinion tmr. Done cleaning abitvof the room. Gonna continue tmr. Off to bobok.... :)

Life. At one point of time I'll feel lost and unwanted. We gotta put in effort in what u wanna do. And soon I'll realise I've got options for u laid out. Too many sometime. Just Ottawa choose what's best for u and what u love to do. That's what happening now. At one point of time i lost two soccer clubs. With effort and never give up attitude. I found a club that appreciate me. I'm not gonna take thy for granted. And when I wanted a job and didn't found any at times. Continue searching and going intrview. I did that, and now, I got this agency and spore flyer job. Dunno what to choose now. Mak says that jangan jadi tamak. Bantu semua keholangan baru tahu. So, I'm gonna let go on what I cannot do. And don't have the time to. That's life. It's never easy. Always learn it the hard way and u'll learn more. :)

Ast post was 9august? Haha! Wow, it's been awhile. Where should I start? Hmmmmm. I'm in year 2 already. How time flies huh. I think 9august, I was already single. Hmmm, then came tiara. Was a long story. Summarise it, it didnt work out. Then, single life. Now I'm dating Amiliah. 'lovelife'. School wise, I didn't do too well nor did I do too badly. My GPA maintain. And so many matrep in school now. Started thinking abt the future already. Am afraid that I couldn't go poly. Aiming for3.00 GPA average. Working towards it. Big surprise! I'm working. Hahahah! Funny right? Never heard shaid working. Hahah. I'm working under agent, but I've been posted out to shop name MUJI. Sometime kenek paragon outlet, Marina sq outlet, bugis junction outlet. If u wanna see me. Drop by! ;) haha.. And soccer wise, planned to quit. Well, plan changes. Am currently playing for gayleng and CC near my house. And might be for school. Haha. Hmmm. Too many things on huh? Been busy lately. Amiliah sampai kenek abandon kadang2! Haha. That's life. U do what u gotta do. Missing the bros, the guys. Wanna meet them soon.. Thats it la. Malas nak type pasal my boring life. -.-




Idk why in typing all that. I don't even know of anyone still comes here. I doubt so. That a good thing I guess. Hahaha.
P.S. LOVE LIFE.

I just don't get it sometime. At times u say lie giving me hopes saying like u'll change and we'll be just like old times. But also at times. Say it like we won't be together ever again and u can't change yr ways. Smoking is not cool. U just look like some others. I dontlike t. Change fir the worse, I can't accept. If it's for good why not.. Some time u say u can manage yr time. Than again, u say u can't. Who is the confuse one? I dint know what is our outcome. I really don't.

This time, it's u. If we were gonna start. It's gonna be abt u. Think what I wanna think? Someone called at 12? U didn't even explain telling me who was it. Than got guilty consious and telling me to think what I wanna think?? Does that even makes sence? that's why I'm saying, are are only going one direction, which is yr direction. What ever u wanna do, what ever u choose to do, we'll follow. coz it's only u. U make all the decisions now. Not US. Okay?? That is what we are. Didn't even bother. Another thing, u can't reply my MSG, but u can go fb eh?? Oh ya, u can an I can't is it?? Just got nothing to say. U are stuck inbetween me and yr friends??? Can I even say that? I guess not, when I say such a thing, u'll go over the top. Still wonder, what have I done so bad till i'm being treated this way. Maybe u are right..

Thus is just the best place. Nothing more. Changed changed changed changes changed changed changed. That's all I can say. Selfish is the word. It used to be both have a say. But now? Ego! That's the word, coz u know u are superb drop dead beautiful. That's the reason why, attitude and all. Can't be told, will get pissed off. Oh ya, I must take care of her heart. Than mine? Who is gonna take care of mine?? I know I've been giving in, even when being fuck without any reason. I won't make it a big fuzz. Ya, told me not change when I got into new school, new friend and new surrounding. I don't change, u do. I've been sound so desperate. Or maybe just too used to it. Too used to hanging on. Too used to depend on someone else. Maybe I have to change. If ppl around me can change, why can't I? U can show yr attitude, why can't I? U can get angry for no reason, why CANT I?? I don't know what I did wrong, or maybe u just felt like changing. U need yr time with yr friends? I used to asked for that, but I don't neglect u, remember?? I don't. So, do I diserve to be treated this way?